Historical Trivia You Never Needed To Know

w/thanks to kicksector.com

1. Anne Frank wrote at length in her diaries about masturbating and menstruation.

2. US President Warren Harding didn’t just have a mistress for 15 years, he also sent her over 1,000 pages of dirty letters. In those letters, he called his penis Jerry.

3. In the Battle of Agincourt, English archers marched and fought with their pants down, so they wouldn’t have to stop to let their diarrhea out. (I may never get THAT picture from my mind.)

4. Royal ladies in Europe, when giving birth, had to push their babies out surrounded by whole audiences. When Marie Antoinette was born, the couriers came running, crushing into the room. (Obviously the forerunner to reality TV)

5. Confessional booths were invented to stop sex with young women in their private chambers. The booth was supposed to stop the priest from seeing if the young sinner was attractive.

6. Catherine The Great was a freak in the sheets. She had a secret sex salon with detailed anatomical decorations. She liked engraved penises and erotic art.

7. Ancient Romans had birth control! The plant Silphium, now extinct, was so important that it features on coins, and was incredibly valuable. The fact that it was so heavily used as birth control is why the plant became extinct.

8. The very first public film projector screening was in 1985. Porn soon followed. The first erotic film (“Bedtime for the Bride“) came out a year later. Only the foreplay of the film still exists.

9. The famed composer Mozart wrote a piece called “Leck mich im Arsch” (easy translation) to be sung by six people. He wrote other dirty compositions like it to amuse his friends.

10. Ghandi did strange “chastity experiments” where boys and girls slept and washed together naked. But if they started getting naughty together, they got punished. He also slept and bathed with his young women, to test himself.

11. European intellectual Jean-Jacques Rousseau was obsessed with being spanked. He’d run around the streets chasing women, with his pants down, hoping for a spank.

12. When the Nazis were occupying Norway, resistance fighters got into sardine factories and filled the occupying army’s supplies with super strong laxative.

13. In 1642, Thomas Granger was the first man to be hung. He was convicted of “Buggery with a mare, a cow, two goats, divers sheep, two calves, and a turkey.” He was 16, and confessed.

14. US President Lyndon B. Johnson was extremely frustrated by constant questioning regarding the Vietnam War. When a reporter asked why he committed to the war, the President unzipped his fly, grabbed his penis and yelled “This is why!”.

15. Back in the day, a woman who was horny was diagnosed by doctors as suffering from “hysteria”. The doctors themselves would give out handjobs to the “sick” women. Lines were out the door. The doctors were worried about sprained wrists. Seriously.

16. In Ireland, during the Iron Age, when a new king was crowned, he had to publicly have sex with a white female horse. Then they all feasted on it. The people worshipped a horse goddess called Epona, so when the king made love to her, he was connecting himself to the land.